My living room carpet is being held hostage by eight scattered heaps of laundry which have occupied my living room since Sunday. This is what happens when everything in my life is re-prioritized because I have to learn how to manage my time according to being a caregiver to not three children, but four. Technically not four because my husband is not my child but as long as he’s (temporarily) physically disabled, I have to look after him like I would my other kids. The way I see it, I have 2 girls and 2 boys which includes a 46 year old adult son.
It’s been nearly 2 weeks since Rob’s Achilles surgery. He’s doing just fine except he’s confined to a scooter, crutches, and has to rely on me to drive him anywhere. I know he would love to be mobile but getting to stay home and work from the couch as I cook, clean, manage the household, and drive everyone around is a nice benefit. As for me, I’m dying. Send wine, chocolate, and don’t forget to say a prayer for me tonight, would you?
Most of my days have been in the car from 8 am till just after 6 pm with small pockets of time to rest – just long enough to sit down and stare at the wall or if I’m lucky, long enough to get a quick shower in. That is, if I can remember to take one.
This year we transitioned into driving to 3 schools which has been a lot of back and forth, back and forth. I’m also driving a combined 6 soccer practices a week & 3 games which includes coaching one of my daughter’s teams, 3 softball practices and 2 games, and driving my husband to his medical appointments. Then there are incidents like last night when my poor 5 year old son woke up around 2 am screaming and crying because he had an ear infection and there was nothing I could do other than offer him Ibuprofen, olive oil drops in the ear, and a warm compact until I could call the doctor this morning. Of course I sat upright holding him up so we could snuggle together – a mother’s embrace does a mighty fine job of making pain feel as tolerable as it can. Aside from our busy school/sports schedule, it’s all the other errands and mundane things that need to be done which has made me a pre-curmudgeon type of character you don’t want to be near.
I realize that there are many bigger problems to complain about in the world. In fact, I realize I am being quite selfish for even feeling overwhelmed by all of this. But to me, this feeling of drowning in my own pity is getting to me.
At the end of the day all I know is this. I love my family. Even though my husband cannot do very much right now in terms of helping me, he is not my son. He is a wonderful man who, like me, is aging every day as our bodies age with us. As soon as we get the go ahead, I am going in for surgery as well to get my shoulder repaired from a torn labrum. Until then I will push through each day until it is my turn to lie on the couch with my arm in a sling and let others take care of me. You know I’m going to milk that day when it comes, milk it to the bank.
There is a season for everything. Even if it means our living room has now been converted into a messy laundry room life is good.
Feeling thankful for the friends who have offered to help, have helped, and never even bat an eye at our crazy situation. Instead, they not only offer me friendship they are a continuous well of grace which I draw from daily.
Thank you to everyone for all your emails, FB MSGS, and encouragement. I’m so encouraged by you!
For now, here is a recipe from PBS Parents I posted recently for a roasted chicken breast recipe which features beautiful lemon thyme sauce my kids love and request. We pour the sauce of pasta and it is a wonderful and satisfying meal.
- fresh thyme leaves
- lemon zest
- kosher salt
- ground pepper
- boneless chicken breast halves
- olive oil
- garlic cloves, minced
- chicken stock
- corn starch
- unsweetened apple sauce,
- chicken flavored bouillon cubes
- fresh squeezed lemon juice
- spaghetti pasta cooked al dente and according to the package directions
- fresh thyme sprigs as garnish
plasterer bristol says
Yum, i love grilled chicken breast, and this is one of my favorite meals, great recipe, thanks for sharing….
Wow! This looks very tasty. I adore Italian food and can’t wait to cook this recipe. Thanks.
Personalizowane kartki says
Thank you for the recipe!
Hotel Gault / Karine says
This one is perfect for dinner. Its made from chicken which I like and has a very delicious flavor that can make me melt just by tasting it.
Looks great, love the combination of lemon, thyme with chicken. Hang in there, you are doing an amazing job!
Melissa M says
Oh, you poor honey bunch! You go right ahead and feel overwhelmed, you poor thing.
Laundry is my THING, so if I lived near you, I would come right over and do all of yours for you!
A post operative hubby who cannot drive or do many things for himself is no fun.
Hugs to you, Alice!
Wayne Wilson says
Yikes!! This is one of my favorites!! Thanks for sharing the recipe.
This looks so good. I will have to remove the pasta to make it Paleo.
Thank you for the recipe, look really nice!
This was delicious! I made it with chicken thighs and the recipe was perfect!
Wow what a schedule! And you even managed to write this great post and share this delicious recipe! I am inspired 🙂
I remember feeling like you do, driving my kids to school, practices and all over the place while doing everything else. I remember feeling overwhelmed so often, but now both my daughters are in college and have moved out or have one foot out the door and I barely see them. I look around and wonder where everyone went, it’s so quiet now. It has been like day and night for me, the difference is awful. I miss them so much, and my old life. As much as life seems stretched and overwhelming right now, you’ll miss this one day. Well, most of it.
Aviva Goldfarb says
Alice, I am so sorry you are feeling (UNDERSTANDABLY!) so overwhelmed with life right now. I wish I was there to fold your laundry and pour you a glass of wine. Hugs and strength, friend.
Holiday Baker Man says
Hugs…. Thank you for the refreshing recipe
Life. Totally understand and vent away. You have A lot on your plate right now and we parents get tired! Here’s to hoping you get a quick nap or quiet shower in
Amy Kim (@kimchi_mom) says
Vent away, my friend. I wish I could be there to offer a hand or a pot of galbi jjim.
I hear you about the whole aging thing. Today I was supposed to kick-off the school year by working out, but yesterday I rolled my ankle….walking! I thought I could walk it off, but when I got home it had ballooned! As a woman in my mid-40’s, I convinced myself that I would do more harm if I went ahead and worked out today. So my old fat butt just stayed home this afternoon.
I pray for a speedy recovery for your hubs and an uneventful surgery for you. Hang in there!
Oh, I so totally understand! It’s NOT being selfish to feel you’re drowning, it’s recognizing the reality of your situation and honouring your feelings. There may be bigger problems. There may be others dealing with harder situations. But those aren’t YOUR problems, or YOUR situation. You have to deal with your own, and there’s nothing wrong with saying it’s hard when it IS.
May your children be healthy, your husband heal soon, your friends be helpful, and your shoulder heal soon when you have your own turn.
Sam @ My Carolina Kitchen says
Sometimes venting helps you to let go of the pressures. I wish your husband a speedy recover and that your lives return to normal very soon. I think you did great to make this beautiful chicken dish. Hope your shoulder gets better too. It’s amazing how much we use our shoulder. I’m suffering from neck pain and I had no idea how much I used my neck…
Hang in there. This too shall pass, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now. I find thinking of the things I’m grateful for is a big help when I’m under pressure and feel like I’m going to explode.
Alice, thank you for the recipe post in the middle of the craziness. Said a prayer for you, and remembered those days (my husband had BOTH knees replaced at the same time!) Let what can wait, wait. My husband and I have an empty nest now and remember the hectic days of parenthood with much fondness. Here’s to hoping you grab a nap 🙂