Earlier today my siblings and I met at my parent’s house for a family meeting of sorts. For the past several months my brother has been updating the house to get it ready to sell. As we all walked through each room I was really impressed and proud of all the work he has put into it. Dad would have been so proud of him for fulfilling his dream to see the house restored to its former glory.
As we sat outside on a bench enjoying the nice warm weather, my sisters and I watched all of our kids run around the house like we used to back when we were kids. We must have run around that house at least a million times. With their backs turned to us I wondered if this is what my parents also witnessed: six kids chasing each other, running as fast as they could, laughing, and screaming as kids do.
When dad died the thought of selling the home both he and my mom raised us up in was unthinkable. My heart would feel so heavy, like a ton of bricks, when family meetings discussing the sale of the house would be up for discussion. Perhaps I was holding on to dad by insisting we not sell the house. It’s been almost 8 months since he passed away and I was unexpectedly surprised by how much peace I had this afternoon by the thought of another family living here. The reality is that dad is no longer in the house. All that is left of him is our memories of him, and I have come to terms with that.
Mom would tell us stories of how beautiful the house used to be when she and dad first bought it over 45 years ago and she would always get a little sad because they could never maintain it like the previous owners. But today I got a glimpse of what she meant by beautiful. I don’t ever recall living there while it was in such a beautiful state. I wish dad could have been there with us today to see it.
It feels rather strange to be saying goodbye to the home I grew up in (until I got married) while at the same time saying goodbye to the home my husband and I have raised three kids in over the last 11 years. I won’t lie to you, 2011 has been a tremendously difficult year for me. But, as we’re on the brink of moving into our new home with mom in a few weeks, I can’t help but feel the symbolic and congruent meaning of it all. The move feels like a new chapter for my family, which now includes mom. I am no longer going to say that mom moved in with us. Instead, with our new home, I’m just thinking of it as our new home that we’re moving into together; her new home and my new home. She won’t feel like an outsider and I won’t be always thinking about my adjustments to her moving into my world.
The past 8 months have been transitional for all of us and together we will start new. Instead of just mom having to learn how to operate a new dishwasher we both will. Together we’ll discuss what shelves the towels should be stored on and which cabinet in the kitchen will be designated for the plates and cups. Mom will get to pick which room she would like to have as her bedroom before the kids can instead of having to live in the “guest room/office” we cleared out for her when she moved in. I guess what I am trying to say is this: we’re going to be okay, and I’m feeling comfortable about what the future holds.
In the mean time, we are keeping busy here by packing boxes and sorting through things we’ve collected over the years. Cooking is down to a minimum as we’ve packed away most of my pots and pans. I made this comforting Eggplant Orzo with Hazelnuts last week as a one pot dish. I loved eating every bite of it because I felt it acknowledged the fall season which will be here sooner than later. And right now, I am ready to step into a new season of life.
- 1 cup orzo pasta
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- ½ medium onion, finely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
- 1 eggplant eggplant, cubed ¾" pieces
- 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
- ½ cup toasted chopped hazelnuts
- ¼ cup basil, chopped
- ¼ cup parsley, chopped
- Prepare the orzo according to package instructions and set aside. In a medium-large pot, heat the butter and the olive oil on medium heat until the butter melts. Add the onion and garlic and saute for 3-4 minutes until the onions are translucent. Add the eggplant and continue to saute for 5 minutes. Stir in the cooked orzo, vinegar, hazelnuts, basil, and parsley. Remove from heat and serve warm.
NBA Snapback Hats says
As we sat outside on a bench enjoying the nice warm weather, my sisters and I watched all of our kids run around the house like we used to back when we were kids.
Traca says
Alice,
Here here! 2011 has been a hellish year? Agreed! I’m glad to see your new beginnings taking shape.
xoxo-
T
Kate says
What a beautifully written post — you have a gift for words. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you an amazing new year in your new home together.
kyleen says
Beautiful and heartwarming post. Good luck with everything.
Maddie says
LOVE all your recipes…I have so many of yours marked to try. If you have some time check out the blog my sister and I just started http://www.addsomepaint.com/
Tricia Best says
Alice-I found you by finding your cream frosting -yummm. I know just how you felt about the house-my sister and I have walked your road and it is difficult, to say the least. You are correct though-our folks would want us to keep going forward, but never forget them. I so well remember the utter desolation on my sisters face, that last day in the empty living room-the same picture I had when we moved the folks into their last home-that time of joy and anticipation. We found sweet comfort in the children as well-they knew the folks and were the apple of Pawpaw and Nannas’ eye and a source of joy for the two of them-to live to see the next generation was very important to them-the Greatest Generation, they survived the depression as children and saved the world as young adults and raised us to love and honor the lives of those we loved-I hope they are pleased so far. Treasure your Mother, even if she drives you a little crazy-payback, you know! hehe Death steals the person but we are their memory and as long as we live, they live. When it is time for us to leave this world, we go to a much better place and our loved ones will be waiting for us and it will be a time of joy beyond description! I admire your willingness to be a stay at home Mom-parenting is the hardest job I know of and to do it well is both a joy and a desolation-I love the thought that they will know the Nana so well and have their own special times and memories-you cannot get those from visits to the old folks home-may your new life and home be blessed with joy, health and faith-Tricia
Debbie C says
Alice…your post today is so beautiful, thanks for sharing your heart with us. Also, I love orzo! It is something I recently discovered and am excited to cook with it. Thanks for the recipe!
Manju says
Very beautifully written post, as always! Congratulations on the new house nad the big move. All the best!
Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction says
What a beautiful post, Alice… I hope all goes well and that you are settled into your new home soon! I can imagine how emotional the transition must be for you… And, you expressed it so beautifully in this post!
Plus, that dish sounds spectacular… I can’t wait to give it a try!
jamieofalltrades says
this screams summer to me! looks so good.
Katrina says
Dishwashers are a life saver! Good luck with the move. This pasta looks fabulous!
SuzyMcQ says
Hi Alice,
What a beautifully crafted and thoughtful post. What makes your blog so special is the added ingredient of sharing of your life and thoughts with your followers in a beautifully written and caring manner.
I wish you and your family all the best in the months to come. It appears as though you are doing all you can to make the remainder of 2011 memorable and special for your loved ones.
I lost my dad 20 months ago and he would have been 89 today. I know that he is always with me, a part of me. So, as you all toured your childhood home, your father wasn’t there physically, but he was there. It was an incredible achievement and a proud moment for you all. Where else would he be?
Maia says
Always looking for new ways to prepare my favorite vegetable. Thanks for sharing!
Amy Kim says
beautiful post. i love the fact that your family is starting fresh in a new house together. wishing much love, joy, and peace to you and your family!
Bev Weidner says
Awww, I know. I understand.
This dish looks DIVINE.
Ker-Yng says
I’m happy for you that you have a good plan and perspective moving forward into the future with your mom. Congratulations on finding your new home and I hope with the dishwasher there will be less tension in the house over dirty dishes!
NanaBread says
Alice,
I love that you share your innermost thoughts so beautifully with us. This has been such a challenging, unsettling year for you and your family, and yet you handle it with such grace. I’m sure it will be difficult to leave your house and your parent’s, but I admire the hope you’ll be carrying into your new home. As the saying goes, it’s not what happens to you that makes you stronger, it’s how you deal with it. I look forward to this new chapter of your lives and all of the joy and adventure it will bring.
Love to you & yours,
Jeanne (NanaBread)
Katie | GoodLife Eats says
These sounds delicious, Alice. I love that ingredient photo – gorgeous!
merry jennifer says
I can only imagine how tough it must be to sell the house where so many memories were made. I love the idea of the clean slate, starting fresh, and incorporating your mom into the home from the start. I think that’s what I’d want to do if the same thing happened to me.
Good luck with the move, Alice. Give a shout out when you need some virtual hugs.
Valerie Hewitt says
Alice,
That was so good. I gotta give it a try.
Check out this site for awesome weekly meal plans http://tonispilsbury.com. Cuts down on sooo many headaches from trying to cook for a family.
Take care, Valerie
Elle says
Alice, it must be so tough to let go of both of the houses where so many memories have been made. It seems like you’ve made peace with these decisions, and I’m confident that you and your family will make new, wonderful memories to cherish in your new home. I also love how you’re including your mom in the new house–not as an extra person living with you, but as part of the home and family, to make decisions and be a part of it all.
Much love to all of you!
Kathryn says
I had a similar feeling when we cleared my grandparents’ house for sale; this was such a moving post. I wish you well with the next stage of your life 🙂
carly {carlyklock} says
Such a well-written post. I’m ready for a new season as well!
Jessica @ How Sweet says
I can’t even imagine saying goodbye to both houses… that has to be so emotional. I don’t know how I’d hold it together.
This dish looks so comforting and warm. Love.
Jen says
Beautifully written post. I always find myself whispering prayers for you and your family after I read, and today is no exception. Thankful for what God is unfolding in your life.